I fear my comment has come to late but i feel the death of this iphone has a simple solution. Obviously the only true way of killing an iphone is to gather yourself and at least 3 of your buddies. If one of them happens to be an overly tomboyish but “open minded” female friend then even better. Drive to Las Vegas. Tour the city, show the phone a good time. Take it out buy it a dollar margarita, allow it to play the nickle slots. NOT quarter slots, only nickle. we do not want the iphone acting like its hot shit. Then at the close of the evening just when the iphone thinks it has had enough and is ready to turn in, you surprise everyone with a “seedy” strip club visit. This is not hard to find and if you were smart earlier in this comment you already sent your bi, mammaried friend to scope out an appropriate place. Upon entry into the club you wrap a single dollar bill around the iphone with a rubber band and offer it as a sacrifice to the woman on the right stage currently shooting ping pong balls out of her anus and across the room. This is a true talent and should not be overlooked. Entice her to attempt to shoot the iphone in a similar manner. This may cost upwards of a roll of quarters, but trust me friends it is worth it. Now at this point one of 2 things may happen, both resulting in death to the iphone. 1. she is unable to launch the dual camera’d apparatus and while being lodged in a dark scary place it becomes saturated in goo of the worst kind, frying the internal boards and voiding any chance of a warranty claim. 2. The iphone goes airborne, with a vigor and slams into the wall just above a homeless mans head shattering. The good news is you can then claim the homeless man stole your phone, report to insurance who will give you a replacement phone and you can begin planning your next death to iphone trip. this time to the amazon rain forest.
6 Comments
Blend it!
or…
just do the traditional old ways…
throw on the wall.. make it a puzzle
>:)
….put it in Hydrochloric acid.
Toss it in a wood chipper.
waffle maker death?
What if you deep fried it?
I fear my comment has come to late but i feel the death of this iphone has a simple solution. Obviously the only true way of killing an iphone is to gather yourself and at least 3 of your buddies. If one of them happens to be an overly tomboyish but “open minded” female friend then even better. Drive to Las Vegas. Tour the city, show the phone a good time. Take it out buy it a dollar margarita, allow it to play the nickle slots. NOT quarter slots, only nickle. we do not want the iphone acting like its hot shit. Then at the close of the evening just when the iphone thinks it has had enough and is ready to turn in, you surprise everyone with a “seedy” strip club visit. This is not hard to find and if you were smart earlier in this comment you already sent your bi, mammaried friend to scope out an appropriate place. Upon entry into the club you wrap a single dollar bill around the iphone with a rubber band and offer it as a sacrifice to the woman on the right stage currently shooting ping pong balls out of her anus and across the room. This is a true talent and should not be overlooked. Entice her to attempt to shoot the iphone in a similar manner. This may cost upwards of a roll of quarters, but trust me friends it is worth it. Now at this point one of 2 things may happen, both resulting in death to the iphone. 1. she is unable to launch the dual camera’d apparatus and while being lodged in a dark scary place it becomes saturated in goo of the worst kind, frying the internal boards and voiding any chance of a warranty claim. 2. The iphone goes airborne, with a vigor and slams into the wall just above a homeless mans head shattering. The good news is you can then claim the homeless man stole your phone, report to insurance who will give you a replacement phone and you can begin planning your next death to iphone trip. this time to the amazon rain forest.